Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Iām not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
If I was a mortician I`d tie the shoe laces of dead people together, so if there ever was a zombie apocalypse it would be hilarious.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
what is the difference between a Fly and a mosquito? ``A fly can fly, But a Mosquito can`t mosquito``
wants to rock and roll all night
Iād slap you but Iām pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.