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they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
I get as much action as a white crayon.
A coworker just wrote "Retard" on the windshield of my car. It`s taken me over an hour to lick it off!
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.