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I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
I’m eating just in case I get hungry later
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
Trust me... You don`t want my undivided attention.
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.