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My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Just tried to parallel park. 5 people are injured, 3 critical, 6 missing. The casualties continue to mount...
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.
I would love to kill you with kindness, but all I have is this knife.
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.