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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
The police never think its as funny as I do.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"