Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A wise man once said nothing.
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
This ramen noodle and vienna sausage dinner taste exactly like I made the wrong career choice :(
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I`m bored of paying for things
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime