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Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. Iโm buying a sandwich.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don`t hit me again officer...
I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself โEnough is enough, thatโs plenty of awesome for one dayโ
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.