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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
My love is like a candle, If you forget about me, I`ll burn your frikin house down!
is bored of being bored because being bored is boring.
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store asked to come back soon.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.