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Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
Some days I just wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn`t the best response. Who knew?