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Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
My girlfriend says I shouldn`t plan things so far in advance. Well, she`s not my girlfriend yet.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
Did you know that doughnuts make your clothes shrink?
Heat makes things expand. So I don`t have a weight problem...I`m just HOT.
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
I just did some calculations and I`ve been able to determine that you`re full of sh!t.
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.