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My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
I went on two diets because there wasn’t enough food on just the one.
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
Just sneezed 8 times in a row and saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
You get wasted, swear to much, and your morals are questionable. You`re everything I`m looking for in a friend.