Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
When I was a kid…no wait, I still do that.
My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
If you wake up with a funny taste in your mouth on christmas morning...............just remember that santa only cums once a year. :D
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.
A morning text from me doesn`t mean "good morning". It means "I`m having very dirty thoughts about you right now".
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.
is ready to have one too many!