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The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
Life is like a p@nis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.