Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s amazing what you`ll wear in public when you`re not trying to have sex with anyone.
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life.
Whether you`re a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.
Of course I`m using OJ as a mixer, it`s flu season.
Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, poverty can’t buy you anything.
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
Okay restaurants. Enough with the clever bathroom signs. A simple M and F will do. Sincerely, drunk people.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
“I wonder how much weight I’ve lost.” -Me, after eating one healthy meal.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"