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So, I guess weβre just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
Man, that .01% of germs that canΒ΄t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why does whoop-ass only come in a can?
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.