Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Thanks to whoever made electrical outlets look like tiny screaming faces trapped inside my walls I can`t make eye contact.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
Do you guys know there are "actual" people out there that don`t have a Facebook account? What the hell do they do all day?
Take my advice, Iām not going to use it.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
Dear single guys; open a pet shop selling cats. Let the single ladies come to you.