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If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
Flu (noun) - The only time when having used tissues laying next to your bed is socially acceptable.
After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.