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Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.