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Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I’m just a guy in a bikini on the bus.
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
I wouldn`t be surprised if my kids think the phrase "goddamn douchebag" means someone who pulls out in front of your car without signaling.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her “bitch refresher course”.
The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....
Fun Fact about me: The drunker I get, the more karate I know.
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why