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Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
Relax, you’re not paranoid at all. Everyone is talking about you.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
How am I supposed to show a girl I like her, if I can’t even make her a mix tape anymore?
A piñata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.
I hate it when old people poke you at weddings and say you`re next. So I`ve started poking them at funerals
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell Yes.
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
I`m pretty sober, but I`m prettier drunk.