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I would watch tennis more often if they replaced the ball boys with untrained golden retrievers.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
I do 5 situps every morning. I know it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times one can hit the "snooze" button......
Is beer cheaper on cyber monday?
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
When my kid grows up they`re not aloud to date until they`re married.
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
Honey, tact is for people who aren`t witty enough to be sarcastic.