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GF: Does this dress make my a$$ look big? BF: Nope Your A$$ makes the dress look big.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
Saying "think outside the box" is a pretty inside the box suggestion.
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?