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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
Why can`t we just change the spelling to fit the way it sounds: Bologna = Bolony Lasagna = lasania knife= nife tsunami = sunami politician = a$$hole