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Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
feels like I`m forgetting to flip someone off today.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
You care so much about me? Keep that sh*t to yourself i got my demons under control
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
Some people should come with subtitles.