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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
I have a fear of elevators, but I have an even greater fear of exercise.
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.