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I was all "I`m not taking any sh!t from you" and she was all "to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1".
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
Remember ladies, if on your 10th selfie you don’t have the perfect one to post you’re really just ugly.
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
I’d be unstoppable if it wasn’t for law enforcement and physics.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
My only trick for looking younger, is when an 80`s song comes on I try to look completely confused and slightly disgusted.
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.