Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
I hate waking up all hungover, eyebrow shaved, and a d!ck drawn on my face ... Especially since I was drinking alone last night.
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don`t want to touch it any more than you do.
Only 3 things can make me run. When someone yells, "Fire", "Free beer" or "The free beer is on fire”
Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.