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I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
Anyone that says I`m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
I hate it when people exaggerate my mistakes and make it seem like I’ve commited a crime.
How many HA’s equal a LOL? How about a LMAO? Is there a conversion chart somewhere?
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.