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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
Netflix doesnβt care if u showered or not
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldnβt the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
If you see me smiling in public it means Iβm laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative