Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
Honestly, it`s not the way I look that reveals my age. It`s my use of complete sentences, proper grammar and spelling when I text.
One of the greatest things about owning a dog is how happy they are to see you even though you just stepped out of the house for 30 seconds.
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
Life Rule #17: Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, ...just incase.
I get as much action as a white crayon.
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.