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You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
Sorry I yelled "April Fool`s" while you were proposing to your girlfriend.
The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn`t want you to be happy."
I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, `change color and escape in a cloud of ink`
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.