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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
is spending my children´s inheritance.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
I just read the words "untimely death" and thought, "Man, I hope my death is timely."
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like
A guy had his whole left side torn off, the doctor said he`s all right.