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Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
Nothing like calling off work and watching porn all morning.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"
I always thought I looked like romeo, until I washed the picture off my mirror...
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.