Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
You can`t find happiness at the bottom of a beer ... Well no kidding, who is happy when their beer runs out.
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
Zoning out is your brain’s way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn`t tear away ..
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.