Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
I`ve created a shoe made out of Legos, so when you step on Lego it doesn`t hurt. You just get taller.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
CPR is the human version of blowing in to a video game cartridge hoping it`ll work again.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!
A fear of mine is a proctologist with poor depth perception!