Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
I thought the movie `fast & furious` was about my sex life. I`m fast, my wife is furious.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
Stages of Drunk: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don`t wake up the cows.
All I`m saying is if I`m not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
Ahh, Spring. When the days get longer and the dresses get shorter!!
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
I forget, how much tequila goes in mashed potatoes? Now that`s funny, I don`t care who you are. Oh, don`t copy that part. I mean this part. Oh hell!! Your going to copy and paste the whole thing anyway ;)
Just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellant. Now, he’ll never have any friends.