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Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
Life should be more like hockey. When someone pisses you off, you just beat the sh!t out of them then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
Mcdonalds Drive thru: Do you want a girl toy or a boy toy? Me: You have those here?!
No one has ever been in an empty room.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.