Daily Silly Status

I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.

For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.

Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.

I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed

I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime

Valentines day

Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas

It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn`t just in his parents basement on acid the whole time

The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.

Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.

Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!

2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!

I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.

A gay man is just one colonoscopy away from foreplay

For many people, "live and learn" is one task too many.