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Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
I hate when its dark and my brain is like “Hey you know what we haven’t thought of in a while?” Monsters.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.