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One trenta cheeseburger please.
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
No body on there deathbed said I wish I had spent more time at work
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 7 am is sexy... Then yeah, I`m your guy.
You are wasting your time reading this status.
I sleep better naked…why can’t the flight attendant understand this?
I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
Being skinny might be nice, but having pizza is nicer.
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
Today I saw a girl with the word "Anel" on her butt. I was like, woah..it`s supposed to say "Anal"..it`s spelled wrong then I realized it was supposed to say "Angel". The G was stuck in her a$$crack