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finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
Me, watching the Olympics: "That was impressive." Announcer: "ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!"
Now there’s Adderall to perk up, Xanax to calm down, Prozac to feel normal. In my day we drank beer for all three.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come to work
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
a friend will calm you down when you`re angry a best friend will run beside you with a baseball bat shouting, "somebody`s gonna get it!"
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
Do you really have to breath that much?
Today’s forecast.. mostly cloudy with a 99.9% chance of alcohol