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It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
The most terrifying thing a woman can say to me is "notice anything different?"
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
Whenever you feel nobody cares or loves you. You should ask yourself...Am I TOO sexy?
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.