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I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
I own a shop selling `CLOSED` signs. We haven`t had a single customer today.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.