Daily Silly Status

Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"

You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.

I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.

I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.

Unless your kid’s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.

"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.

After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.

Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.

I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.

You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.

Don`t blame me, I was born awesome ;)

What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...

Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?