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We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
I assume guys who wear their phones on the hip do so because their pockets are stuffed to the brim with condoms and girls phone numbers
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
If I don’t talk to myself, who will?
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
The only thing I ever win playing McDonald’s Monopoly is 10 pounds.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.