Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
It`s all rainbows and sunshine until he breaks your heart, then it`s voodoo dolls and arson reports.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!