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It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
Do you really have to breath that much?
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.