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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!!!!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eggs
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
next time you`re at a movie point at the screen when a scene with extras are on and say to your buddy "look, there i am!" and see how many people look over at you in awe.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
Whoever said “There is nothing as precious as a child’s laughter” obviously never fell down a flight of stairs in front of his kids.
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.