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Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
that an iPhone 6+ in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
This is 2016. How come I can`t email someone a fart when I feel like it?
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
If I had a nickel for every time I`ve misplaced my keys, there`d be a jarful of money I would also have to look for
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!