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There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.
I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
500 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote?
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
Accidentally ran over my neighbor’s cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying “Curiosity was here”
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.