Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please say a prayer for my coworker. His life is so boring that he just Instagrammed his Jimmy Johns sandwich
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
Hey guys with your phone in a hip holster, is it because your purse is too full with tampons?
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be "bad at following directions."
Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don`t think soooo.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?