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I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
Dear autocorrect: at no point have I ever meant “ducking.”
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake