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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed. ;)
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...