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When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
Kids today will never know the frustration of having to rewind their dads porn tapes to the exact same spot...
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.