Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
My wife told me, "I look really fat. Please make me feel better and compliment me." I said, "You have perfect eyesight."
Go ahead caller 9!!
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?