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I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it “selective participation.”
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*