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Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
My innocent look never works in the nude.
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
Sometimes when I`m bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I`ve never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
"Something`s wrong. He`s never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
No matter what`s happening there`s always part of me that would rather be taking a nap or drinking.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.