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Going back to work after 12 days off is the best way to realize I should have married for money.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
My new year`s resolution is to stop making new year`s resolutions.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?