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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
Now that Microsoft`s Steve Ballmer has bought the Clippers, I wonder if he will release a new version every few years that we all hate.
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like: β€œWell I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth.”
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
At this point in life, my greatest chance of having a threesome will be sex with a schizophrenic.
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
I like calling the Psychic Hotline and asking them what I`m wearing.
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?