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When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really fast
"My name will live forever!" - Anonymous.
If you wake up with a funny taste in your mouth on christmas morning...............just remember that santa only cums once a year. :D
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
is ready to have one too many!
I test drove a car last month. Apparently, you`re not supposed to keep the car for a month. At least that what this cop is telling me.