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If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
I eat bananas with a fork, so I don`t look gay.
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
I was born at a very early age.
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...