Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
You are the pebble in my shoe of people
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
Give up, itsy-bitsy spider. It wasn`t meant to be.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
Right now my glass is half empty...Hey Bartender!!!
Dear Social Media, thanks for showing me that I can like people. So long as I don`t have to see, touch, or smell them.
If nobody comes from the future to stop you, how bad can the decision really be?