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Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
Dad, I love how we don`t even have to say out loud that I`m your favorite. Happy Fathers Day!
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
“Everything you say can and will be used against you” should be included in marriage vows.
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
I’m not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
Self checkout must have been invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.