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Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance! ..By driving away and not leaving a note.
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
Confession #156: I always prepare myself before stepping on the escalator
A hypnotist is just someone that tries to roofie you with jazz hands.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
I need to put someone on my weekend to-do list